law school ninja

So I haven’t posted in like two weeks. Terribly sorry. I really haven’t even been all that busy, although I’m supposed to have been busy this whole time. My motivation has flown out the window and I’ve been waiting for it to come back.

Okay, okay, I cannot tell a lie. The truth is, I bought Parasailin’s new book, Glowing Rouge, and I just couldn’t put it down. Such wordsmithery! Such esoteric writing! Such depth of knowledge! Such… such…

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Just kidding, you guys. I’ve just had a severe case of the lethargies.

Today I’m not going to complain about how horrible law school is because really it’s not so bad right now. Over the last couple of weeks we’ve had a lot of canceled classes (Contracts for almost a whole week, Legal Practice for almost two whole weeks because of individual writing conferences, Torts for one day) so my life hasn’t been as hectic as probably most other law students’ lives have been.

Ninja Kid did have a birthday and Ninja Pops (that’s my dad) was in town for that weekend, so that was fun. I can’t believe my little tiny baby ninja will be a teen-ninja next year. Zoinks!

Anyway, I think that late last night I may have found something that resembles my motivation. I did start my CivPro and Contracts outlines. I haven’t started one for Torts and I’m thinking that I may not do one at all. We can’t take anything in the exam so I’m thinking that just doing a bunch of hypos in the E&E and reviewing notes might be sufficient. Also, I bought the Acing Torts and Acing Civil Procedure books. I can tell I’m going to like them because they’re done with more of a list concept, which appeals to me on all sorts of OCD levels.

Aaaaaand, what I’m most excited about is that I may — MAY — have a lead on a paying summer job with a local family law attorney here. But ssshhhhhh — at this point it’s all very, very preliminary.

So, just wanted to touch base with you guys and let you know I’m not dead and I haven’t dropped out of law school yet. I promise to do better with posting. Guess I just needed a little coma time.

It’s a milestone kind of day here at Chez Ninja. This is my 100th post! Hard to believe. So, to celebrate, I’m completing a half-finished post from a long time ago while watching Get Smart with Ninja Kid and eating tons of leftover Halloween candy. Hey, don’t hate me cuz I know how to par-tay.

So we have about five weeks until exams. Five weeks! That’s 18 classes. Almost time for this:

We started some study group work on Saturday morning and I think it was helpful. We just worked on Torts and we went through some of the hypos in the E&E and answered them as a group. I haven’t really started doing any outlines yet and I guess it’s time to get that underway. I think I said that a couple of weeks ago here, and somehow I’m not any farther along now than I was then. I blame the open memo from hell.

How much fun is this PicApp thingy? Oodles, that’s how much.

Okay. So I’m realizing that there are some things I don’t know (shocking!). For example, will the world come to an end in December of 2012, absolving me once and for all of my law school debt? Hey, I strive to look for the silver lining. Half full, baby.

Ha ha ha.

No, really. I do have some questions.

1.  How can you tell the difference between dicta and reasoning in an opinion, and is this really important? It all seems like reasoning to me, like the judge is just building a case and then making a decision. I didn’t think this was a huge deal until I watched the 2L/3L Moot Court final round and there was all this debate about the nature of a judge’s comments in a previous case. The justices were arguing that it was persuasive precedent, but the appellants were arguing that those comments were just dicta. I mean, I know what dicta is, as far as the definition, but to me it just blends in with the reasoning. Discuss.

2.  The tutors keep telling us to mark up our FRCP book and our UCC/Contracts Restatement book, since those are the only things we can take into the final. (For Torts all we can take is a pencil or a computer, no books at all.) What does this mean? What am I supposed to be writing in said books? I mean besides copying my outline onto the blank pages at the back.

3.  Is it normal that I’m still completely lost in Contracts? He lost me right after promissory estoppel and we’ve never gotten back on the same wavelength. Will I have a eureka moment for this class like I did for CivPro? Surely I will, right? Shirley. Anytime now, I’m ready.

Also, I’m going to start Getting to Maybe this week in my spare time. Haaa. After exams, I’ll do a book review. Don’t let me forget.

Any other general advice for exam preparation?

Last week in Contracts we had a practice exam over the Statute of Frauds. Prof. K told us from the get-go that we’d probably all fail it but that he’d spend a few days the next week (this week) going over the proper way to take one of his exams.

So one of the deals is that if you choose to type the exam, you’re on a word limit. Or, you can write on the lined paper he provides and you’re limited to that space. He prefers the written exam so I’m sure that’s what most people will do. The point is that he doesn’t want to grade a bunch of BS. He just wants to know if you know something about Contracts. Me likey.

Anyway, today he spent a long time talking about how to look for cues in the question. For example, if the question says that a contract has already been formed, you don’t need to discuss offer, acceptance, and consideration. Makes sense, right?

Then, in a classic Prof. K moment, he turns to the chalkboard, says, “You all are familiar with IRAC, right?” and writes:

Issue
Rule
Analysis
Qonclusion

“Whatever you do, do not go to IRAQ in your answer. I do not want to see that in your answer. If you do, you will find yourself caught in a bloody morass that you’ll have a heck of a time getting out of.”

First, crank up the speakers.
Now, press play.
Welcome to my epiphany.

I.
HAVE.
DISCOVERED.
COFFEE.

That is all.

Wait. Is it Parasailin’ or Sarah Palin? I’m so confused.

You know who I’m talking about, right? That mavericky mom who can see Russia from her backyard?

Yeah, that one.

Okay, anyway. She “wrote” a “book.” I think they finally settled on the title Glowing Rouge or something like that.

Let’s review.

Remember, whilst apparently in the midst of a dyspeptic episode (I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here, people), Senator John McCain picked her to be his running mate for the 2008 presidential election. Also, she used to be Governor of Alaska until she quit like such a quitter. Now, ostensibly she quit in order to pursue a public speaking gig and to write and promote this “book.” That she “wrote.”

Today we learn that Parasailin’ has posted her resumé on LinkedIn, which is, well, a place where one can post one’s resumé. Here’s the link.

Ha! Just kidding. That one’s fake. Turns out I’m not the only one who likes to poke fun at the Killa from Wasilla. Here’s the real link.

So is it just me, or is this weird? I don’t know, really. Maybe it’s normal. You tell me. Anyway, it’s a side issue.

You’ll recall that Parasailin’ was a beauty queen, non?

Ha! Just kidding again. That wasn’t really Parasailin’ or Sarah Palin but just a really good wannabe. But do you see now how I keep getting so confused?

It’s even more confusing because I came across an exclusive excerpt from the first chapter of Parasailin’s “book” today and that plus the whole beauty pageant thing and the Iraq, such as, U.S. Americans, and now I don’t know who’s who anymore. Also, notwithstanding the title Glowing Rouge, it appears to have absolutely nothing to do with makeup tips. Here’s an example:

Say it ain’t so Joe! My name is Sarah Palin. Recently several year I the State of Alaska had the pleasure, north the hugeness, am the zealous public servant! My husband and I have blessed with many attractive children. In 2008 I even has the pleasure is presidential candidate’s John the McCain running mate! I enjoy the hunting wolf and the moose. Is the wife and the mother also.

…

My father is feels very much proud. Joe the Plumber! Later I will go to the Hawaiian am the graduation from the high school the institute in Honolulu. I leave, in a semester later and will shift to the north Idaho institute Community college. Moose. I in 1983 year two semesters, a generality have studied major. In 1984, I won Miss Wasilla Pageant, then completed third in 1984 Alaska young lady!

Seriously, you guys, you just have to read the whole thing. So so so so so so funny.

Finally, I stumbled across this YouTube gem today and I just had to include it. I’m not sure if this is Sarah Palin or Parasailin’ or just that wannabe chick. I report, you decide.

Faster than you can say “hideous monstrous rabbit squishing a young girl,” we’re halfway through our fall 1L semester. Can you believe it?

No, that’s not Ninja Kid. I have no idea who this poor little girl is BUT GOOD GOD LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT RABBIT!

Anyway.

I forgot previously to write about the Negotiations competition. The competition was actually two weeks ago. So I partnered with another girl in my section and we signed up for the Negotiations competition. Nobody really knew what was going on or what to expect, so we were all on a pretty level playing field. There were 74 teams competing overall and three preliminary rounds to be held before any scores were tallied. Once we got our problems, my partner and I got together and worked out where our firm limits were, areas where we had some wiggle room, and our initial offers.

So maybe we weren’t the best negotiators evah. Okay, maybe we weren’t even in the top 16 best negotiators evah. Or even in the top 16 best negotiators in the 1L class at Ninja School of Law.  But still, I’m glad I participated. Obviously it was a great learning experience. Like I said, I certainly had very little understanding of how the process would work, and after going through it three times I think I’d be much more comfortable with it in the future. It was tons of fun to play lawyer for a little while and represent a client’s interests. I was surprised at how un-nervous I was before our first round, and by the time our third round came along I was downright relaxed.

For the preliminary rounds we were judged by 3L students. The judging was pretty inconsistent. One judge would tell us not to do a certain thing, and the next judge would count off for not having done that same certain thing. For example, we were on a 40-minute time limit as far as the actual negotiations at the table. In each of our first two rounds, we finished early and each judge told us it was no big deal. For our third round, however, we finished early and got chastised for it. I happen to know one team got criticized for sitting next to each other rather than across from each other during self-analysis with the judge.

I heard quite a few of my classmates complaining about this and I must admit I did my fair share of griping, too. It’s frustrating not to know what is expected of you and then to get corrected on it.

And then, whilst in the midst of a deep conversation with my good friend Billy, I had a minor epiphany.

I mean, this is how it’s gonna be. In real life. Doing the lawyering thing. There are going to be times — in fact, probably lots of them, especially as newbie lawyers — when we aren’t sure exactly what’s expected of us, or exactly where certain lines are drawn, and yet we will still be expected to perform to the best of our abilities.

Actually, all of law school is kindof like this. For example, Prof. CivPro hates it when someone uses the words “clearly” or “obviously” because, her thinking goes, things are rarely clear or obvious. The first time a student used one or both of those words in CivPro, he or she (I can’t remember who it was) got corrected and treated to a mini-lecture. Now, obviously, I have a disagreement with the professor on this, because clearly there are a lot of things that are both clear and obvious to me:

• Brad Pitt is the hottest man in the galaxy EVAH. Trust.
• My dog understands every word I say.
• Jokes told in the quiet section of the law library inherently carry a funny quotient of x100.
• Cats and dogs are irresistibly drawn to sit upon open casebooks.

I could go on; the list is lengthy. But I digress.

The point I’m trying to make is that the law school experience wouldn’t be authentic if there weren’t a high degree of uncertainty involved. Someday you’re going to go up in front of a judge and you’re not going to know beforehand that he hates some specific words and here’s how it’s gonna go down:

YOU: Your Honor, I object! This is clearly speculation and whatnot.

JUDGE: Overruled. Counselor, please refrain from using the word “whatnot” in my courtroom.

YOU: Apologies, Your Honor. Obviously, I was unaware of your disdain for that word, etc.

JUDGE: Counselor, you would do well to never utter the word “etcetera” in my courtroom again.

YOU: Your Honor, would it be possible for me to get my hands on some sort of list of words that are disfavored in this courtroom?

JUDGE: COUNSELOR I’M HOLDING YOU IN CONTEMPT.

YOU: But, sir! Would you please just make a ruling on the law? I’m correct on the law.

JUDGE: [hammering wildly] BAILIFF!!

See? That could so totally happen in real life. This is what law school is preparing you for. Prepare to be unprepared.

Cheddar cheese makes a pizza taste so delicious. Also, it has a lot of fat in it, which is of course why it tastes so delicious.

Pizza is somewhat greasy by nature. If you add greasy cheddar cheese to an already somewhat greasy pizza, you get a lot of grease. A lot lot.

No, not that kind of grease. This kind of grease:

Source

Fair warning: As you get older, this type of meal will disagree with you more and more. After feeling totally grody to the max on Monday night and all day Tuesday, I’m not sure I’ll ever eat pizza again.

Well, week 7 is in the books. We’re nearing the halfway point of 1L fall semester. I know a lot more than I did seven weeks ago, that’s fo sho. But the thought of exams coming up in less than two months now… [please hold for major panic attack]

Seems like the only class with anything exciting going on any more is CivPro. Take this last week, for instance. We only had three days of CivPro because the professor was out of town, but it culminated in a real, live Battle of the Big Talkers. It was like THE CLASH OF THE TITANS!!!

Somehow our discussion about personal jurisdiction devolved into… polluted drinking water? You can’t possibly know just how epic it was unless you were there.

Sidebar: Is it weird that I remember this movie, while most of you probably weren’t even born when it came out in 1981? [cue midlife crisis]

So I’m thinking I’d better start outlining soon, right? I’ve read lots of advice posts all around these tangled intertubez, and I think I’m about ready to get started. Especially since I did absolutely nothing productive this whole weekend. Well, by productive I guess I mean law-school-related. I was, in fact, exceedingly productive at Talbot’s and Dillard’s.

If you’re thinking about outlining, or maybe you’ve already started but you’re not sure if you’re doing it quite right, check out some of these links. Also, if you have any other questions or advice to offer re outlining (or a helpful link that I missed — apologies), please stick them in the comments.

• Outlining 101 — Thanks, But No Thanks
• Intro to Outlining — Fearfully Optimistic
• When to Outline — The Shark, courtesy of Dennis Jansen
• Perils & Pitfalls of the Outline part 1 and part 1.5 — older but still relevant posts from Law School Survivor
• general law school advice (including outlining) here, here, and here.

Finally, if you’ve had it up to here with the über-anal Bluebook citation rules, you’ll appreciate this Courtoon.

So apparently the blog has been down for a little while. I’m not sure exactly how long, but I know it was longer than 24 hours. Apologies if you were trying to access the site and you got an error message. Hopefully the problem has been fixed and we’re good to go.

In case you didn’t notice, the week 6 edition of Law School Lessons is suspiciously late. Sorry about that. Strangely enough, I’m finding that some weeks are just not as amusing as others. Who would’ve thunk it?

Week 6 was… well… Eastwoodian.

The Good: Prof. Torts and Prof. K were both out of town on Thursday and Friday of last week, and Prof. Legal Practice figured out that if she held class there wouldn’t be very many people who showed up, so I was done last week for the week at noon on Thursday.

The Bad: I chose to spend that extra time staring at the cobwebs on my ceiling rather than getting ahead (or catching up) in my classes.

The Ugly: We had to have two Torts classes on Tuesday (one at 8:00 and one at 10:00) to make up for one of the missed classes later in the week.

The Good: I got my practice exam back in CivPro. Prof. CivPro wrote a lot of things on my paper, but the “good first effort” made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

The Bad: Every person whom I’ve talked to also got the “good first effort” comment.

The Ugly: On closer inspection, I’m beginning to think the comment actually reads “cod list effect.” Except I didn’t list anything about fish anywhere in my answer.

You get the picture, right? A mixed bag. Something tells me this may be a recurring theme.

Week 5? You mean more like week 5… hundred? Seems like I’ve been a law student for FO-EVAH already.

Let me ‘splain it to ya.

On the one hand, I am certainly still more confused than not regarding the big picture. I think this is why some people suggest waiting to start outlining until later in the semester. Also, my body and my mind still haven’t accepted the new schedule for the most part. On Saturdays and Sundays, however, my brain seems to get a kick out of waking me up at an unreasonably early hour. It mocks me, my brain.

On the other hand, when you consider where we started just five weeks ago, we have really come quite a long way, baby. For example, remember reading that very first case they gave us for orientation? And it took like more than an hour just to read and understand that one case about the guy who killed his grandpa before he could change his will? Remember how scary that was? That was only five weeks ago, and now look! I can read through cases, pick out the important parts, highlight them (color-coded, of course!), and even discuss them in a somewhat informed manner. This is progress!

Okay, self-congratulation phase over.

Now on to the lessons of the week (last week, that is).

But first, are you guys tired of my breaking down each week by subject? I’m kinda tired of it. I feel like for some classes I don’t really have much to say. Take Torts, for example. I mean, from here on out it’s gonna be negligence, negligence, and more negligence. Surely you don’t want to read about that for eleven more weeks, right? Right. So I think I’m just going to hit the high spots from here on out. Okay, good.

With that out of the way, there’s really only one event last week that I want to talk about.

Last week will go down in history as The Notorious CivPro Blood Bath of 2009. Also known as The Great 1L Gut Check. Also known as The Day When At Least 85% of Section 2 Seriously Contemplated A Different Career Path. It was horrible. Prof. CP felt like some people were un(der)prepared for class and made an example out of them.

Now, the truth is this: At orientation, we were treated to a lengthy lecture on time management, study skills, etc. In that session, we were told of this Magical Device, which, if used properly, would guarantee that we’d never be caught unprepared in class. And everybody knows that if you want to get a 1L’s attention, tell them how to avoid embarrassment at the hand of the Dreaded Socratic Method. The name of said Wondrous Weapon is The 2-Day-Ahead Reading Schedule.

Ooooh. Aaaah.

Did you learn about this at your orientation? Basically, you do Monday’s reading on Saturday, Tuesday’s reading on Sunday, etc. That way, you start out the week two days ahead, and if you get bogged down in something and fall behind, it’s easier to play catch-up later in the week. Or so the theory goes.

I have friends who are using this method still, five weeks into the semester, and they like it. I think I’d like it if I could make it work for me, but the truth is that I don’t get much reading done at home because of the distractions. So, by all means, if you think this sounds like a good idea and you want to give it a try, or you’re already successfully Wielding the Wondrous Weapon, that’s awesome. I’m actually kinda jealous.

For the rest of you, let this be your cautionary tale. You see, Prof. CivPro told us early into the semester that she’s not a fan of the Wondrous Weapon because students have a tendency to forget the details of a case (which Prof. CP absolutely loves to ask about) in two days. She told us very early that we should not follow the advice of the Study Gurus and should only do our reading the day before. (For the record, I’ve upped the ante and started doing the CivPro reading between Contracts and CivPro. Such a daredevil.)

So, the truth of the matter is that the people who were called upon on The Day The CivPro Class Stood Still had actually read the material, but it had been a couple of days since they read it, and they forgot to refresh the ol’ memory bank before class. So, when called upon, these people appeared to be unprepared.

So the moral of the story is this: If you read ahead, make sure you take a look at the cases just before class to refresh your memory.

Or, you can be a ninja and just stay current.