I realized yesterday that after five days of Civil Procedure, the above four words plus the two symbols represented the sum total of notes I’ve taken during class. In case you’re curious, that’s 28 letters, or 30 characters total if you count the equal signs.
Apparently most CivPro classes start with jurisdiction issues. I know this because the other sections at Ninja School of Law are working on jurisdiction issues. Also, my blawger friends are working on jurisdiction issues. Everybody in the whole entire world knows about Pennoyer v. Neff and International Shoe, and all I know is… well, see above.
Oh, wait! There is one more thing I learned, I just forgot to write it down.
Well. The first week of law school is over. Do I love it? Absolutely. Is it going to be a huge challenge? OMG. Yes.
So rather than bore you with a lengthy account of my first week, which was probably very similar to your first week as a 1L, I thought I’d just do a brief recap of my week by class. Hopefully I can do this as a weekly series.
But first, I do have some general thoughts:
I just love my law school. Love. I realize I’ve only been there a week, and all you seasoned law students are at once rolling your eyes and thinking to yourself, “Let’s ask her how she feels in three months at exam time.” I know I may be a little doe-eyed at this point, but seriously, it’s been great so far. The building is nice (especially the new add-on), there are lots of comfy chairs and couches and nooks and crannies in which to study, and it just has a good vibe. Most of the professors are pretty un-scary and everybody seems to be very willing to help when you run into a snag. I’ve met some nice people and some fellow snarksters and some who annoy the crap out of me, all of whom make for a very entertaining day.
I didn’t spend enough time doing the assigned reading before classes started, and as a result I was barely able to keep my nose above water as far as reading for class. Luckily, the gambles I made paid off and I didn’t get caught unprepared, but I have to get a little farther ahead in my reading. This week I had a mandatory parent’s meeting at Ninja Kid’s school and that two hours cost me.
On a related note, it took me about four days to realize that this formal case briefing business is for the birds. It simply takes way too long. If you have some extra time or you just want to make the time, more power to ya. Instead of formal briefing, I’m just highlighting (color coded!!) and making notes in pencil in the margins of my book.
Waking up at 5:45 every morning SUCKS. Is there some sort of button I can push to make myself go to sleep at 11:00 instead of midnight or later? For some reason, no matter how tired I’ve been all throughout the day, shortly after supper I get a second wind and I can’t make myself go to bed at a reasonable hour. This resulted in my falling asleep with my head in my torts casebook by the time Thursday came around. I really, really need to get this under control.
I love OneNote for organizing all my class materials. Can’t say enough about this program. However, I’m kindof at a loss when it comes to taking notes in class, especially in those classes where we spend inordinate amounts of time on details of cases rather than the big picture. I can hear some of my classmates typing furiously throughout the entire class period, yet for some of my classes I barely have half a page of notes for the whole week! Just when I was starting to think I was missing something, I came across this post on Fearfully Optimistic. [Sidebar: If you're not reading Fearfully Optimistic on a regular basis, shame on you. It's brimming over with helpful, practical advice and you owe it to yourself to check it out if you're a current or future law student.] Anyway, I feel better about my lack of notes now. Thanks, John!
And now, for this week’s installment of Law School Lessons!
TORTS
I like Professor Torts. He’s got a good sense of humor and he makes funny jokes. He uses PowerPoint and he posts it so we don’t have to copy down a bunch of stuff if we don’t want to. Better yet, at the end of each major concept he hands out an outline of the pertinent points. So helpful! He generally takes volunteers, and so far he hasn’t called on anyone out of the blue. There are a lot of people in my section who like to talk.
This week we studied Intent and Battery; next week we start with Assault. What’s cool about Torts is that the cases are interesting and sometimes even kinda funny, so reading is not a chore.
Somehow this week, while talking about intent to harm, we got off onto a discussion of duty versus obligation to help someone in need. He mentioned that in some instances, if you stop to help someone and you end up harming them in the process, you may be held liable. One student was incredulous and asked, “You mean if you just try to help somebody they can sue you later?” Professor Torts replied, “Well, the basic principle of life is that it sucks and then you die, so… yeah.”
Regarding the obligation to help someone in need, Professor Torts explained that if we see a fellow classmate whom we don’t particularly like drowning in the local lake, it’s legally okay to “pull up a lawn chair, light a cigar, and watch the show.” Totes.
CONTRACTS
Professor Contracts is great. He sports a bow tie on most days, and Fridays are Hawaiian shirt days. Snazzy! He’s pretty laid back and a slow talker, and he also has a great sense of humor.
On Friday, Professor Contracts announced that it had come to his attention that some in our class were concerned that we weren’t moving quickly enough through the material and that we needed to pick up the pace. He assured us that he knows what he’s doing. WTF? Somebody actually complained about that?! In the first week of class?! WTF is going on here? I guarantee you, if I find out who it is, I’m gonna have my posse boil their bunny on the stovestick a horse’s head in their bedattack them in the shower give them a stern talking-to.
This week we studied contracts in general and we started talking about consideration. We were reading a case that referenced a “noted thinker” named Chitty. Professor Contracts said, “Okay, Chitty on Contracts. Why do we give a chit?”
CIVIL PROCEDURE
Professor CivPro is the most intimidating of the lot. We can’t use laptops in her class. When you get called on in her class, you have to stand. And you don’t just answer a couple of questions; you have to stand there for about half the class period (20-30 minutes) and respond to hypotheticals.
This week we studied due process. Professor CivPro’s class tends to devolve (or maybe it’s intentional) into discussions of public policy, such as the fairness of the welfare system or the disability benefits system, instead of focusing on the law. This aggravates me for two reasons: (1) isn’t this what we did in undergrad? (2) is it even relevant if my classmates think it’s unfair to rely on the testimony of doctors in determining disability benefits because a friend of a friend once had an on-the-job injury and the one doctor said she had this percentage of disability and the insurance’s doctor said she had less disability, so therefore doctors could be biased and we should just give Mr. Eldridge the benefit of the doubt when he says he’s in pain…? Now I’m not saying I have no empathy, but I just don’t think it has anything to do with the case we’re talking about, now, does it? Grr.
A lot of people in my section are spending an inordinate amount of time preparing for CivPro because of their fear of getting called on and not knowing every single little tiny miniscule detail of the case. As a result, one student already got caught unprepared when she got called on in Contracts. I think this is a losing strategy, and I ain’t fallin’ for it. Here’s my rationale: If I get called on in CivPro, regardless of how well I know the case, I’m going to end up looking like a fool because Professor CivPro is eventually going to get the best of me. Additionally, this will eventually happen to every single person in my class. So I’m going to read the cases and do my highlighting tricks, and I may jot down a couple of notes on a piece of paper to keep handy just in case. But I will not neglect my other classes just to join in the freak-out-over-CivPro party. Hopefully this strategy will pay off.
LEGAL PRACTICE
This is the research and writing class and it lasts for two semesters. I have nothing but nice things to say about Professor LP. She’s pretty, she’s a fashionista, and she seems really, genuinely nice and very smart. She tells us stories about when she was practicing. Also, she bakes birthday cakes.
For this week, this was my favorite class. That’s because it was so easy. We talked about court structure and that’s about it. It was like taking a freshman government class. But please don’t misunderstand: it was glorious, restorative therapy for my overloaded brain to get to sit there and relax for an hour. I realize that later in the semester I won’t be such a fan, but for this week it was just right. Also, my classmates who have different LP professors have already had one quiz and one group exercise where they had to prosecute/defend a fictional character. None of that from my Professor LP. No stress here (yet).
Okay, so this didn’t turn out to be as brief as I intended. In my defense, though, there was a lot to cover. I suspect when things settle down a bit this weekly post will, too.
A hot summer Saturday. Law School Ninja, disheveled and visibly discombobulated, is sitting in her living room on her favorite chaise lounge with her Torts casebook, trying to do the reading that is assigned for her first day of classes, Monday, two days hence, at 8:00 a.m. Accompanying Law School Ninja on her chaise lounge are her cat and her dog, who are each angling for the best seat in the house — directly on top of the casebook. Unbeknownst to Law School Ninja, an army of midgets wielding weapons fashioned from crunchy beetle shells and hairy tarantula legs amasses just two blocks away. Vultures circle overhead, storm clouds gather, and hyenas close in as Law School Ninja commences the following monologue:
Okay, here’s my first case to brief: Garratt v. Dailey. Let’s see here… there’s the citation. Ha! That was easy enough! I’ll just fill in all the little categories that they gave me at orientation, and that’ll be that. Simple!
Facts are next. So this little kid pulled a chair out from under a lady in somebody’s back yard. Uncool. Oh, the lady fell and broke her hip as a result. Doubly uncool. Kids these days have absolutely no manners. Plaintiff sues the kid for battery.
Okay, next is the procedural history. Well, it looks like the trial court found for the defendant and the plaintiff appealed, seeking either $11,000 in damages or else a new trial altogether. Ha! Ha ha! I don’t get what the controversy is about briefing cases. This is just like fallin’ off a log.
Now for the issue. They tell us issue spotting is crucial, so I’ve gotta be sure to get this right. Oh, look! Here it is! The issue regards the intent of the little boy. Did he know that moving the chair would cause injury to the plaintiff? Is that right? ‘Cause if he did know that, then he’d be liable for battery.
So the holding is supposed to answer the question posed in the issue. Alrighty. Just have to find that… answer… hmmm… well, where is it… huh? The Washington Supreme Court remanded the case back to the trial court to determine whether the boy had such substantial knowledge… ?? Okay, so um, but what do I put for the holding? ‘Cause there really isn’t one. I mean, they made no decision about this. They just punted it back to the trial court. So what do I put in that HOLDING section of my case brief??? Hello? The holding can’t be “remanded,” can it? That’s more like the disposition of the case. Argh. Must consult the Tweeps.
[1.5 solid hours of tweeting]
Whew! That was some intense research! According to the Twitterverse, the holding is what would have been determinative had the appeals court not remanded. Does that make sense? It did to me, earlier. I hope it still makes sense to me on Monday.
Anyway, that misses the whole point of the case, which is trying to establish the concept of intent. Hey. What the… wait a minute… did I just spend hours and hours today trying to figure out what to put in one stupid little category of this crappy briefing template that they gave me at orientation, which distracted me from seeing the real point of the case? Did I just sit here and do exactly what everybody’s been telling me not to do, which is to get caught up in the minutiae of case briefing? Nuh-uh. No way.
[coyotes howl menacingly in the distance]
Please tell me NO.
[midget army advances]
NOOOOOO!!!!!
[fade to black]
Thus ends the sad saga of Law School Ninja and the Stupid, Crappy, Time-Sucking Case Briefing Template. It’s a tragic tale, but instructive. Learn ye from Law School Ninja’s mistakes. Put down your school-distributed, crappy, sucky case briefing templates! Join me in a fight against conventional wisdom! Take back your wasted hours as your own! It will be a fight to the death — nay, a fight to the pain!
Today was my first full day of law school orientation at Ninja School of Law. Predictably enough, it featured lectures, food, more lectures, papers, questions and answers, and me trying desperately to stay awake in the very back row. Here are some things I learned today. Whether or not I came away with the right message, I’m just not sure.
We are not in undergrad anymore, Toto.
Law school will make one drink excessively and/or use medications in ways other than those for which they are prescribed. This is normal.
In law school, a C is a good grade. Not passing or acceptable, but good.
We are lawyers starting today. So the whole education and the barzam, those are just formalities? So confused.
If one finds oneself too intoxicated to drive between the hours of 10 p.m. and 4 a.m., one need only call this number and flash one’s student ID in order to get a free taxi ride home. Handy!
Law school professors love training people to be lawyers because lawyers are the guardians of this great democracy.
Brief every single case as though it were your last, else you might not get that C.
Law school may make one feel the need to off oneself. If this need arises, please call this number for immediate assistance. If one suspects one’s fellow classmate of wanting to off oneself, please also call this same number. A trained professional will be right with you.
No matter the temptation, DO NOT USE CANNED BRIEFS. This point cannot be stressed too many times.
For your viewing pleasure, some scenes from “The Paper Chase” and “To Kill a Mockingbird.”
One must resist the urge to keep foodstuffs in one’s carrel. According to the student handbook, this will “make the vermin problem worse” (emphasis mine). OMG. The law library has a vermin problem. O.M.G.
Let’s say you have a close relationship with a Trekkie. Now let’s say that said Trekkie expires. You’re responsible for the funeral arrangements. Should you have a burial or a cremation? Either way, you can send your Trekkie to the final frontier in style.
A public service announcement: the horn. So that’s what it’s for? Hmm. Never use mine. *cough cough*
And finally, you should take 8 minutes to watch “Red Rabbit,” an animated short by Egmont Mayer. Ninja Kid and I loved it! Everybody’s got a secret, right?
A man lives alone in a small apartment. The little contact he had with other people has dropped to zero since the rabbit appeared. Every attempt to get the rabbit out of his apartment has failed and since he is not sure whether or not pets are allowed in the building, he does not let anybody enter his apartment.
Lately I’ve been coming across a whole bunch of stuff on these fabulous intertubez that I’ve been saving. I don’t know exactly what I’m saving them for, because they really don’t each warrant a separate blog post, but I just like them. So there. Anyway, my blogging friend Mariel over at Fresh Thought Soup does this cool thing called A Few Thoughts, and she kindly gave me permission to borrow and modify that idea just a bit in order to get rid of some of this brain clutter. Basically, this is a (not so) glorified link dump.
So I’m just going to do a few at a time so as not to overwhelm.
So, like, what was your favorite ride of all?
OMG it was totally 1001 Nachts. I LOVED THAT RIDE!
You loved it, huh? Well, why don’t you marry it then?? Hey!! Awesome idea!!
Speaking of amusement parks, check out Environmentaland, which recently opened in Hollywood. Nobody Rides for Free.
This dude got an unpleasant reminder that it’s not nice to cheat on your wife — with three other women. The woman in the picture needs to get acquainted with a flat iron. All three women will surely be getting acquainted with the inside of a prison cell. Let’s hope none of their cellies have access to Krazy Glue.
Apparently, real men wear pink. If by *real men* you mean Brad Pitt and David Beckham. And yes. Yes, I do.
Happy birthday today to Joseph Carey Merrick, better known as the Elephant Man. That movie made me cry when I was a little girl, and my horribly insensitive father and brother made fun of me endlessly for it. Yes, you two, I do still hold a grudge.
You probably know that Ninja Kid wants to be a chef. Lately I’ve been extolling the virtues (and positive cash flow!!) of orthodontics. Turns out I’m barking up the wrong tree. Of the 15 most lucrative college majors, 12 of them are engineering degrees. Time to dig out the math flash cards. Drill, baby, drill!
Two weeks from tomorrow, I’ll be attending my first day of law school orientation. Egads! I’ve spent this entire year wishing law school would hurry up and get here, and now that it’s almost here, a low-grade, smoldering panic is starting to creep in. And while I know in my head that everything’s going to be just fine in the long run, I have noticed some strange things happening to me lately. At first I thought these incidents were unrelated, but I’ve since come to realize that they are, collectively, manifestations of a well-known but previously ill-defined affliction known henceforth as Fear and Emotional Chaos in Anticipation of Law School, or F.E.C.A.L.S. for short.
In case you’re wondering if you, too, are suffering from this debilitating syndrome, I have devised a self-test. If you have experienced five or more of the following signs and symptoms, you may indeed be experiencing F.E.C.A.L.S.
You’ve devised a smart-ass answer for the next time someone asks you if you’re ready for law school to start.
You realize that you’ve got a stockpile of at least 50 highlighters — 5 colors, 10 of each.
You’re wondering whether you ought to pursue a career in waiting tables, fast food customer service, or retail sales.
You spend hours each day scouring the intertubez in search of recommendations for supplements, study aids, and note-taking software.
You’ve started stockpiling cans of soup and drinking water.
You’ve politely (or maybe not so politely) explained to your family and friends that you won’t be accepting any invitations to any events until after you get your barzam results in 3-1/2 years.
You have recently awakened in a cold sweat, shouting, “Pass!”, from a dream in which you’ve been called on in class and you stand up to answer, realizing only then that you’re pantsless/completely naked/braless/wearing two different shoes.
You have also started stockpiling coffee/Mountain Dew/Red Bull.
You’ve convinced yourself that it’s normal to spend $1000 on one semester’s worth of books.
You have an irrational fear of being labeled as “that guy.”
You’re seriously contemplating doing some day drinking. Daily.
Again, if you recognize these symptoms, you are not alone. Thousands of law students suffer from F.E.C.A.L.S. in the weeks before their 1L year starts, and most come through without any lasting sequelae. Try to relax and enjoy your last little taste of freedom. But, by all means, if you are experiencing symptoms not listed here that you suspect are related to an exacerbation of F.E.C.A.L.S., please post them below.
I’d like to be able to say that my lack of blogging lately has been a consequence of some massive project I’m working on or some other noble pursuit. Well, I could say that, I guess, but of course it wouldn’t be true. Alas, I owe an apology to both all of my loyal readers. I have no good excuse, yet I am resolved to get right back into the swing of things. There’s so much to write about that I’m suffering from Brain Freeze now, so this will be a short post to attempt to begin the process of thawing.
According to NBC New York, a young lady named Trina Thompson has filed a civil suit against her alma mater, Monroe College. She wants a refund on her tuition money to the tune of $70,000. Why? Well isn’t it obvious? She hasn’t gotten a job yet, so she feels like she deserves her money back.
Um. Where should I start? I’m not a lawyer yet and not actually even a law student quite yet, but nevertheless I will pick this apart using my common sense, which is very keen and not even all that common.
1. Just because your college may have a Career Services department that helps its students with job searches is no guarantee that you will be employed, with or without their help, within a certain period of time after graduating from said college.
2. Speaking of certain periods of time, Ms. Thompson just graduated in April; this is just August. She doesn’t have a job yet? Boo freakin’ hoo. The article says that Ms. Thompson was an info-tech major at Monroe College. Apparently this had nothing to do with anything like watching the news or reading the paper or common sense, for that matter. It’s called a recession. We haz one. Google it.
3. Just for kicks, let’s say you win your $70,000 tuition back from Monroe College. If you do get a job at any point in the future, aren’t you then obligated to repay the money? It seems only fair. If the main factor in determining whether your $70,000 was well spent on your education is whether or not you are suitably employed, then fine. You take the $70,000 back until you get a job, and then you pay it back. Of course, this is ridiculous.
4. And anywayz, who’s going to want to hire you now that you’ve exposed yourself as a litigious, whiny, unrealistic, and generally annoying doofus? You have student debt? Join the club. You’re having trouble making ends meet? Gee, nobody else has that problem EVER. Ms. Thompson’s mother is quoted in the article as saying, “This is not the way we want to live our life… This is not what we planned.” Well to that I say: Get in line, and good luck finding the back of it. I think it curves around the globe a few times.
**********
On a side note, the other night Ninja Kid and I went out to dinner with my mom (code name: Meemosa) and her husband (Mr. Meemosa?). In the span of about ten minutes I told a blatantly obvious lie and also did a bang-up job of pretending to like an entire family whom I really detestdespiseloathe don’t enjoy. Meemosa’s husband told me he thought I’d make a great lawyer. Is that a compliment?
…I’m convinced that my schedule will be the one with an 8:00 class five days a week.
Well, I am receipt of something that resembles a schedule. It used to look a little more like a schedule until the accident. And by accident I’m referring to an episode that involved fire and a ritual sacrifice. Anyway, I memorized it before I destroyed it.
Monday
8:00 – 8:50 Torts
9:00 – 9:50 Legal Practice
11:00 – 11:50 Contracts
2:00 – 2:50 Civil Procedure
Tuesday
8:00 – 8:50 Torts
11:00 – 11:50 Contracts
2:00 – 2:50 Civil Procedure
Wednesday
9:00 – 9:50 Legal Practice
2:00 – 2:50 Civil Procedure
Thursday
8:00 – 8:50 Torts
11:00 – 11:50 Contracts
2:00 – 2:50 Civil Procedure
Friday
8:00 – 8:50 Torts
9:00 – 9:50 Legal Practice
11:00 – 11:50 Contracts
So in case you lost count, that’s four (!!!!) 8:00 classes a week. Four. That’s like four-fifths of the worst possible schedule in the whole entire universe. Have I mentioned before that I’m not a morning person?
I finally finished Law School Confidential. Well, sorta. I skipped over a few chapters — nay, over entire sections — of the book. The thing is, probably about two-thirds of it just doesn’t apply to me at this point. The parts that I did read, however, were good as far as gaining a basic understanding of what to expect in law school.
The first section of the book, entitled “So You Wanna Be a Lawyer,” deals with deciding whether to go to law school, how to get a good LSAT score, the application process, choosing a law school, and paying for it. I skipped right over this section; clearly I’m beyond this.
Part two is called “The First Year, They Scare You to Death.” Now that’s more like it. This section is full of advice regarding what you should do before you start law school, such as moving to your law school’s city plenty early and getting into shape. I dog-eared the page that lists recommended supplements/commercial outlines for each 1L course. I mean, is this universally true, regardless of the professor? I have my doubts.
There’s a helpful chapter that briefly explains what you’ll learn in each 1L class, followed by a chapter on book-briefing cases. This is also dog-eared in my book. I absolutely love the idea of color-coding my casebook with highlighters. Seriously, thinking about it makes me have an OCD-gasm.
Next, there are chapters on law school etiquette, preparing for exams, getting a 1L summer job, making the best outline to take into exams (also dog-eared: case maps vs. bullet outlines), and the law review competition. Speaking of law review, how many of you competed? How many of you succeeded? If you competed and didn’t make law review, are you still glad you put forth the effort? If you didn’t attempt it, do you now wish that you had? Discuss.
The rest of the book deals with your 2L and 3L years and the bar exam. I flipped through all this, but I didn’t really read much of it. Just thinking about 1L is causing me enough stress, without having to start worrying about the barzam and actually finding a job. I may or may not refer back to these last two sections at some future date, but at this point I can’t bear to read them.
So, all in all, I think Law School Confidential is probably a worthy read. If the color-coded-highlighting-of-the-casebook briefing method ends up working for me, that alone will have been worth the price of the book. If any of you seasoned law students out there have experience with this book briefing method, or any other general thoughts regarding Law School Confidential, please comment.
COLOR-CODED WITH HIGHLIGHTERS??? **swoon**
Hi, my name is Law School Ninja, and I’m an office-supply-aholic.
