Well, week 7 is in the books. We’re nearing the halfway point of 1L fall semester. I know a lot more than I did seven weeks ago, that’s fo sho. But the thought of exams coming up in less than two months now… [please hold for major panic attack]
Seems like the only class with anything exciting going on any more is CivPro. Take this last week, for instance. We only had three days of CivPro because the professor was out of town, but it culminated in a real, live Battle of the Big Talkers. It was like THE CLASH OF THE TITANS!!!
Somehow our discussion about personal jurisdiction devolved into… polluted drinking water? You can’t possibly know just how epic it was unless you were there.
Sidebar: Is it weird that I remember this movie, while most of you probably weren’t even born when it came out in 1981? [cue midlife crisis]
So I’m thinking I’d better start outlining soon, right? I’ve read lots of advice posts all around these tangled intertubez, and I think I’m about ready to get started. Especially since I did absolutely nothing productive this whole weekend. Well, by productive I guess I mean law-school-related. I was, in fact, exceedingly productive at Talbot’s and Dillard’s.
If you’re thinking about outlining, or maybe you’ve already started but you’re not sure if you’re doing it quite right, check out some of these links. Also, if you have any other questions or advice to offer re outlining (or a helpful link that I missed — apologies), please stick them in the comments.
So apparently the blog has been down for a little while. I’m not sure exactly how long, but I know it was longer than 24 hours. Apologies if you were trying to access the site and you got an error message. Hopefully the problem has been fixed and we’re good to go.
In case you didn’t notice, the week 6 edition of Law School Lessons is suspiciously late. Sorry about that. Strangely enough, I’m finding that some weeks are just not as amusing as others. Who would’ve thunk it?
Week 6 was… well… Eastwoodian.
The Good: Prof. Torts and Prof. K were both out of town on Thursday and Friday of last week, and Prof. Legal Practice figured out that if she held class there wouldn’t be very many people who showed up, so I was done last week for the week at noon on Thursday.
The Bad: I chose to spend that extra time staring at the cobwebs on my ceiling rather than getting ahead (or catching up) in my classes.
The Ugly: We had to have two Torts classes on Tuesday (one at 8:00 and one at 10:00) to make up for one of the missed classes later in the week.
The Good: I got my practice exam back in CivPro. Prof. CivPro wrote a lot of things on my paper, but the “good first effort” made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
The Bad: Every person whom I’ve talked to also got the “good first effort” comment.
The Ugly: On closer inspection, I’m beginning to think the comment actually reads “cod list effect.” Except I didn’t list anything about fish anywhere in my answer.
You get the picture, right? A mixed bag. Something tells me this may be a recurring theme.
Week 5? You mean more like week 5… hundred? Seems like I’ve been a law student for FO-EVAH already.
Let me ’splain it to ya.
On the one hand, I am certainly still more confused than not regarding the big picture. I think this is why some people suggest waiting to start outlining until later in the semester. Also, my body and my mind still haven’t accepted the new schedule for the most part. On Saturdays and Sundays, however, my brain seems to get a kick out of waking me up at an unreasonably early hour. It mocks me, my brain.
On the other hand, when you consider where we started just five weeks ago, we have really come quite a long way, baby. For example, remember reading that very first case they gave us for orientation? And it took like more than an hour just to read and understand that one case about the guy who killed his grandpa before he could change his will? Remember how scary that was? That was only five weeks ago, and now look! I can read through cases, pick out the important parts, highlight them (color-coded, of course!), and even discuss them in a somewhat informed manner. This is progress!
Okay, self-congratulation phase over.
Now on to the lessons of the week (last week, that is).
But first, are you guys tired of my breaking down each week by subject? I’m kinda tired of it. I feel like for some classes I don’t really have much to say. Take Torts, for example. I mean, from here on out it’s gonna be negligence, negligence, and more negligence. Surely you don’t want to read about that for eleven more weeks, right? Right. So I think I’m just going to hit the high spots from here on out. Okay, good.
With that out of the way, there’s really only one event last week that I want to talk about.
Last week will go down in history as The Notorious CivPro Blood Bath of 2009. Also known as The Great 1L Gut Check. Also known as The Day When At Least 85% of Section 2 Seriously Contemplated A Different Career Path. It was horrible. Prof. CP felt like some people were un(der)prepared for class and made an example out of them.
Now, the truth is this: At orientation, we were treated to a lengthy lecture on time management, study skills, etc. In that session, we were told of this Magical Device, which, if used properly, would guarantee that we’d never be caught unprepared in class. And everybody knows that if you want to get a 1L’s attention, tell them how to avoid embarrassment at the hand of the Dreaded Socratic Method. The name of said Wondrous Weapon is The 2-Day-Ahead Reading Schedule.
Ooooh. Aaaah.
Did you learn about this at your orientation? Basically, you do Monday’s reading on Saturday, Tuesday’s reading on Sunday, etc. That way, you start out the week two days ahead, and if you get bogged down in something and fall behind, it’s easier to play catch-up later in the week. Or so the theory goes.
I have friends who are using this method still, five weeks into the semester, and they like it. I think I’d like it if I could make it work for me, but the truth is that I don’t get much reading done at home because of the distractions. So, by all means, if you think this sounds like a good idea and you want to give it a try, or you’re already successfully Wielding the Wondrous Weapon, that’s awesome. I’m actually kinda jealous.
For the rest of you, let this be your cautionary tale. You see, Prof. CivPro told us early into the semester that she’s not a fan of the Wondrous Weapon because students have a tendency to forget the details of a case (which Prof. CP absolutely loves to ask about) in two days. She told us very early that we should not follow the advice of the Study Gurus and should only do our reading the day before. (For the record, I’ve upped the ante and started doing the CivPro reading between Contracts and CivPro. Such a daredevil.)
So, the truth of the matter is that the people who were called upon on The Day The CivPro Class Stood Still had actually read the material, but it had been a couple of days since they read it, and they forgot to refresh the ol’ memory bank before class. So, when called upon, these people appeared to be unprepared.
So the moral of the story is this: If you read ahead, make sure you take a look at the cases just before class to refresh your memory.
Ninja Kid has a creative writing requirement at her school; she has to submit two fictional stories every six weeks along with some poetry. I present some snippets.
********************
Nighttime
At night is when I sleep.
When I sleep, I dream.
When I dream, it makes me happy.
When I’m happy, I don’t want to wake up.
But alas,
We all have to wake up in the morning.
********************
“Mom, when you want to say like somebody mustered up their courage, how do you spell that? I mean, not like mustard, right?”
********************
Sharpies
Have I ever told you about my obsession with Sharpies?
Professor Contracts was trying today to explain to us the finer points of Worker’s Compensation and indemnification policies, in the context of Allied Steel & Conveyors v. Ford Motor Co.*
Hey, let’s say that this Allied employee is wearing sweatpants — they all wear sweatpants, right? — and he pulls a gun out of his sweatpants and shoots a Ford employee. Do you see that the Ford employee would have a Worker’s Comp claim against Ford? Because he was injured on the job, right?
At this point, Prof. K walks over to the chalkboard and erases one arm of the stick-figure Ford employee he’d drawn earlier.
Let’s say the Ford employee loses his arm. The Allied employee shoots it off. Now, we’ve already determined in our scenario that an arm is worth $2500. [laughter]
Wonder what a leg’s worth? What if he loses both legs? I don’t know, probably $6500? Either that or he’d swell up with gangrene, right? [more laughter]
Now then… hey, I wonder what they do with those arms? You think they take ‘em out back to the smokehouse? [hearty laughter]
Four solid weeks of law school and I’m still standing. Must give credit where credit’s due.
nectar of the gods
BREAKING: we’re all gonna die!! Ninja School of Law has announced a special swine flu policy for this semester. Basically, they’ve realized that the current policy of allowing five absences before your grade gets docked will result in people coming to school while ill. And believe me, if one person comes to the law school with the swine flu, we’re all bound to get it, because it’s like we’re all up in each other’s faces all day long. So, the new policy is that if you have a fever and flu/cold symptoms, DO NOT COME TO SCHOOL. Email or call your professors and inform them of your impending porkishness, and your absences during that time will not be counted against you. They don’t even require a doctor’s note for this. Obviously it’s an Honor Code violation to fake the swine flu, plus it’s just not really that good of an idea to start with, but I have no doubt someone will do it. I’m really glad they did this because I was worried about what would happen if Ninja Kid and I both wind up with the swine flu. Now I feel a little bettah, but I’m still gonna start wearing one of these just for good measure.
And now it’s time for Law School Terms of the Week!
2. mensch: shorthand, slang term for something one says in passing; e.g., If I see him, I’ll mensch that you think he’s cute.
3. hereinbefore: where one puts one’s marker in order to win at bingo
TORTS
Gah. Negligence. All we ever talk about any more is negligence. What happened to the good ol’ days when we talked about pushing and hitting and throwing and trespassing and imprisoning and inflicting and placing in apprehension? Still, the reading is the easiest of the three substantive classes and Prof. Torts is still taking volunteers.
Prof. Torts is supposed to be making up a little practice exam question for us. He said we should try to do it within a timeframe of about 45 minutes to an hour and without consulting our book or our notes, in order to best simulate the real exam environment. I’m anxious to have a look-see at this practice exam, although I think I have a pretty good idea what a Torts exam might look like. Anyway, it’s optional whether we turn it in or not, but if we do he’ll grade it and write all over it so we can see just how badly we suck at taking exams.
CONTRACTS
Gah. How boring can one subject be?!?! Seriously. All I have to do is just glance at my Contracts books and it’s like an instant coma. Plus, I’m completely lost in there all of a sudden. I spent all day Saturday on Contracts and it. was. brutal.
Prof. K was really only funny for one day this week. Suffice it to say it involved a talking Dr. Evil doll and something about adventures in urination with kidney stones. Don’t ask.
LEGAL PRACTICE
Gah. So much going on in this class all of a sudden. ICW exercises. Closed memo draft. Video tutorial re secondary sources. Research path #1. Client interview questions (by the way, I have no idea what we’re supposed to be interviewing about). Writing proficiency exam. Library computer session for research tutorial. I’m not making any of this up. Oh, don’t forget the 3783 pages of reading and probably a quiz or two.
But, fantabulous Prof. LP makes it all bettah with a little chocolate birthday cake therapy.
CIVIL PROCEDURE
Okay you guys should probably sit down before you proceed. Ready? I really like CivPro. There, I said it. I’ll say it again: I really, really like CivPro. It just makes sense all of a sudden. Which is weird because for the first two weeks I had no clue what was going on in there. No frakkin clue. I fully expect that this warm, fuzzy feeling will be short-lived, but for now I will wallow in it. Don’t judge.
Prof. CivPro has almost made the rounds, so probably by the end of next week everybody will be fair game to be called upon again. I’m going to step waaaay out on a limb here and make a totally wild prediction: My warm, fuzzy feelings about this class will fade in conjunction with my being called upon again. Ha ha! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Well, what can I say? I’m all about living on the edge
Sorry, I have no clever picture to go here.
I promise I’m going to try to start posting more frequently than just once a week. Gah.
Apologies in advance to both of my loyal readers. This week’s edition of Law School Lessons will be brief for two reasons: (1) I spent the better part of my weekend working on a draft closed memo, (2) the season finale of True Blood is on HBO in an hour and nothing — NOTHING — will keep me from watching it.
To start, let’s just address a real problem I have with law school. I had hoped that there would be some perks that came along with being in my 30s. For example, I thought by now I might have gotten old enough to stop worrying about ACNE?!?!? WTF?!?!? The law school giveth, and the law school taketh away. And this week, the law school giveth me a giant zit under my nose. Not quite this big, but close.
I like how the guy moved his hair out of the way just in case you couldn't quite see the whole thing.
TORTS
We’re mostly finished with consent and privileges/defenses, so next week it’s on to negligence. I’ve been told that this is where it starts to get more difficult. Torts is still my favorite reading.
I believe we’re also supposed to get a practice exam pretty soon. Can’t wait to see what that looks like. None of my professors have practice exams available in the school’s database. FAIL.
This week we were discussing a case in which a football player hit another player during a game, and whether the one was liable for battery. Professor Torts said, “I didn’t get to play football; I was on the debate team. We called it ‘Jewish football’ because none of our mothers would let us play the real sport.”
LEGAL PRACTICE
Well, I knew this day had to come. Legal Practice is starting to be a pain in the posterior, and it’s only gonna get worse. This week we had to take a writing proficiency exam, which wasn’t hard, but it required that I come back to school on a Friday afternoon, and that ain’t cool. Should have the results of that test in a week or so. We’ve been informed that if we don’t like our grade, we can take the test again and they’ll take the higher grade. WIN.
And about that closed memo: not really very pleasant. I hate to bitch about it too much, though, because I know in a few weeks I’ll be longing for the days when my research was done for me. It’s due tomorrow at 9:00, and frankly I’m bursting with pride because I finished it this afternoon instead of starting it after True Blood. How very adult-y!
CONTRACTS
Contracts this week was quite eventful. First of all, you already know that I’m highly entertained by Professor Contracts. The thing is, when he says funny stuff, you don’t always know it’s gonna be funny until after he’s already said it, and then it’s too late to start writing it down. This happened one day last week, when Professor Contracts had the most elegant moment of poetry, and I realized it just a little too late. Luckily for me, the Contracts tutors dutifully recorded it word for word, and I reproduce it for you here in all its profundity:
We are engaging in an astonishingly boring activity. You are going to find in law school you are going to spend a lot of time looking at the most boring concepts in the world. But part of the motivation is fear, and that works for me. You are going to be afraid of not knowing these things in December. Once you get out in practice, you are going to be doing the same horribly, horribly boring things.
I got called on in Contracts this week while we doing promissory estoppel. Go ahead. Ask me any question. I’m an expert now. I was on for this one case and I did okay, and then he moved on to the next case and called on someone else. At that point, I completely checked out. I mean totally. The people on G-chat in front of me were providing me with plenty of entertainment and I had no idea what was going on until I noticed people in front of me turning their faces upward to look at me. Wut? Sure enough, Professor K is saying, “Are we still on up there?” So I stumbled around and looked like an incompetent boob for a few seconds, and then I managed to figure out what he was looking for. Good god, man, don’t you know it’s not nice to double dip??? FAIL.
One last thing about Contracts this week. This was by far the funniest thing EVAH to happen in class, but when I retell it you won’t think it’s so funny. Anyway, I’m gonna tell it anyway. So we were in class on Friday morning, everybody was half asleep because, well, it was Friday morning, and Professor Contracts is talking about the Lucy v. Zehmer case. You know, the one where the dude got drunk and sold his farm? Prof. K asks a question and a girl toward the front raises her hand to answer. Right when she started talking, the fire alarm went off. LOUDLY. Everybody in the room jumped a mile, some people started acting like they were headed for the door, and there was a general sense of confusion. Without missing a beat, Professor Contracts gets this kinda crazy look on his face and yells out, “You won! You won!” The whole class dissolved into hysterical laughter, and it took forever to get back on track. WIN.
CIVPRO
Okay this may sound weird, but I don’t hate CivPro anymore. At some point early in the week last week, a little tiny light bulb went off in my head and I saw the light. Yay! We’ve been discussing Rule 12 and all these motions you have to file, some all at the same time, some not, some favored, some not so favored… It all appeals so much to my OCD self. I confess. Don’t judge.
We did have one pretty hilarious moment in CivPro this week, also. We were talking about anonymous plaintiffs and when that’s appropriate and when it’s not, blah blah. So we had a little squib on this case where this girl was suing her (former) boyfriend for distributing a sex tape they made, and she wanted to remain anonymous but the court wouldn’t let her. Anyway, we were discussing this and out of the blue Professor CivPro hits the button and the giant movie screen starts dropping. The whole class started quietly giggling, then laughing louder, and louder, and Professor CivPro kinda looked at us like we were crazy. Then she realized what we were giggling about and she said, “Oh! No! No, I’m not gonna show you the sex tape!”
Yeah, so much for brevity. Perhaps I should start doing this more frequently so these aren’t so freakin long. FAIL.
But the True Blood finale was freakin awesome. WIN!
Thank heavens for three-day weekends! By the end of last week, I was completely out of motivation to do any reading. So, I just didn’t. And now I’m a tad behind. This is why Barack Obama invented Labor Day, right? I hope he invents another Monday holiday in October because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna need it.
But first, a new feature! Law School Terms of the Week! (applause)
1. administratrix: like a dominatrix, but with a rule book in one hand
2. chattel: a genetically unlikely cross between a French cat and a herd of cows
3. perdurable impetus: an infuriatingly large and long-lasting skin lesion on one’s mouth
This week’s Law School Lessons won’t be broken down by class because I’m feeling a little lazy. Sue me.
I still like Torts the best. The reading is interesting and the lectures are informative and entertaining. That spells W-I-N in my casebook. Professor Torts is still taking volunteers to discuss cases, so I’m probably going to try to get a turn next week. Pretty soon he’ll start cold-calling people who haven’t volunteered, so I’d just like to get my turn over with. Since I like reading Torts so much, I’m way ahead in there. I may not have to read Torts again until next weekend, if I’m lucky. We finished up all the intentional torts and have moved on to privileges and defenses (e.g., consent).
Contracts is quickly becoming my least favorite. It’s a close competition between Contracts and CivPro for that bottom slot, but for now I think Contracts has the edge. Blah, blah, blah, illusory promise, blah, blah, specific performance, blah, blah, blah. I’m pretty sure the abbreviation for Contracts is K for Killmenowpleez. I hope this gets better. I am still highly entertained by Professor Contracts, though. This past week he recommended a book on Contracts by a guy named Chirelstein for help in understanding some of the more complicated cases we’re reading. I ordered it, and I’ll be sure to let you know if it’s really helpful or not.
My number was up in Civil Procedure this week. I got called on, but I got off pretty easy. We were doing a class exercise on the federal legal process as a whole, and she was wanting the entire class to participate but sometimes she’d ask a question and get a classroom full of blank stares. So she got frustrated and decided to call on people, and of course she called on me. She asked me a hypothetical that I had no idea about, so of course I answered incorrectly. Then a classmate tried to chime in and offer help, and he got it wrong, too. She asked me a few more questions, I ended up feeling wholly inadequate and foolish (just like I predicted last week), and then she moved on. After class, several people told me I was so lucky to have gotten called on that day because it was pretty easy. And by easy I mean that I didn’t cry or wet my pants. Also, I have no idea what the hell is going on in this class. I’m as thoroughly confused as I’ve ever been in my whole life. I’m just gonna have to pull a Dory.
Legal Practice is still going swimmingly well (hee hee). We got our first major assignment this week – a closed memo assignment that has to do with a real Texas case involving a monkey stealing plants from a nursery at the behest of his owner. Ka-razy! I just couldn’t love my LP professor any more than I already do, so I’ll refrain from gushing.
We had a mandatory meeting last week about filing our intent to practice law with the bar. Apparently this form is made of gold and encrusted with jewels, because it costs us each $190 just to file the damn thing. Actually, at this point I’m already so numb to spending god-awful amounts of money on law school that I didn’t pay that much attention to the cost, but quite a few of my classmates were seething mad about it. Anyway, what are you gonna do? Not file it? I didn’t think so. Also, they went on and on and on and on about being 100% positive that we disclose everything that might come up on a background check, so that it doesn’t seem like we’re trying to hide anything. I’m talking this lady spent at least half her entire speech on this one point. I get it, I understand that they’re just trying to help, but jeez. I’m now so frightened of forgetting some little detail of my life that I may or may not be hearing voices. And the voices tell me to run away! run away! run away!
Ninja Dog apparently is having issues with my being gone from home all day, because every time I turn around she tries to eat some of my precious highlighters. This week I had to say a sad farewell to my red, dark blue, and purple highlighters. Those colors have been replaced with thin Crayola markers in comparable shades. I’m such a school-supply nerd.
It’s my understanding that more and more law professors are banning laptops in the classroom. I have one professor this semester who has done just that. Although I much prefer taking notes on my computer, where I can easily access any reading notes and/or case briefs I might have to go along with lecture material, I do understand why some are prohibiting the use of laptops during their lectures. Only two weeks into law school and I see the problem very clearly. Most of the people who sit in front of me are mature, responsible, attentive students (like me, of course) who just use the laptop for classroom functions.
A few, however, are not.
I’ve seen people playing all sorts of games. Sometimes people check their email or other news websites. By far the most annoying thing is the people who type notes back and forth to the person seated next to them in big, bold font so that everybody behind them can read speculation on whether Professor Contracts ever gets to go on a date, or how ugly someone else’s boyfriend is, or whether someone is having a hard time staying awake, etc.
Aren’t we supposed to be adults here?
This isn’t to say that an occasional brain deviation from the lecture isn’t normal. My mind wanders, too. But really? You want to write notes back and forth to each other on your computer screen when at least half the class is sitting behind you reading every word? Because it’s literally impossible not to read it. Once you know they’re typing messages, you can’t make yourself not look. You have to. It’s a reflex or an impulse or something completely involuntary. And then you spend the rest of the class time being irritated on at least five different levels because of this nonsense.
/end rant
Plus, you just never know who’s looking over your shoulder. That’s what these legislators in Connecticut found out after the Associated Press published this photo of them playing solitaire during a budget debate.
