manifest idiocy explained

Posted on 15. Apr, 2009 by Jill in manifest idiocy

You’ve seen them. They’re everywhere you look. Signs that there are some really, really, really dumb people out there. So many people are unable to distinguish between your and you’re; there, their, and they’re; and it’s and its, to name a few examples. As a bit of a grammar snob, these sorts of things drive me absolutely nutso. This new category called Manifest Idiocy will serve the important function of documenting for posterity the evidence that these functionally illiterate people do exist. Indeed, they are legion. Secondly, my ability to showcase this blatant stupidity will probably prevent my having a hypertensive stroke every time I see something like this:

you found a what?

you found a what?

on relocation and redesign

Posted on 13. Apr, 2009 by Jill in entertainment

With the relocation of Law School Ninja to my very own domain and shiny new WordPress blog, I’ve been thinking about changing things up a little bit. Hence my paralyzing indecision about a blog template. Being a perfectionist sucks sometimes. In the meantime, thank you for your patience while Law School Ninja is undergoing blog perfection. Also, Mini-Me has caught the bug and has expressed dissatisfaction with her moniker. Henceforth she shall be called Ninja-mo. Trust me, this has its own back story, but it shall remain untold for now. So it has been spoken, so it shall be done.

under new management

Posted on 02. Apr, 2009 by Jill in current events

Check out this hilarious (and sad but true) video that Reason magazine came up with to help explain the new automobile warranty system now that it’s being run by the government.

You can expect this same brilliant efficiency to be applied to the healthcare system once the government takes it over, too. Yes, you can.

law school: the debt factor

Posted on 02. Apr, 2009 by Jill in law school

Most people who go to law school graduate with substantial debt. In general, the higher ranked the law school, the more debt you can expect to accumulate (in part, because so many of them are private schools). However, in the past this debt load has been mitigated by one’s earning potential as a graduate from one of these top-ranked schools — $160,000 per year starting out at the top BigLaw firms. Sure, you sell your soul to the devil to work there, but you get your debt paid off quickly and then you move on to someplace other than the Hotel California law firm, where you can check in any time of night but you can never leave. For many, this is a Faustian bargain worth making.

As a seasoned student myself, the debt factor played a huge role in my decision about where to attend law school. Simply put, I’ve been in debt, I’m still in debt, and I’m trying to get out of debt. I don’t want any more debt. Debt stinks. Maybe more prospective law students are taking this into consideration when making their choices, seeing that many of the top law firms are having layoffs and salary cuts as a result of the economy. According to this editorial in today’s New York Times, the economy is affecting the legal profession in many ways, both at law firms and at law schools.

“knowing” – a review

Posted on 31. Mar, 2009 by Jill in entertainment, my life

Last weekend, my good friend F.C., Mini-Me, and I went to see the movie Knowing with Nicholas Cage. I’m a fan of Nic Cage in general, with Leaving Las Vegas ranking in my top ten favorite movies of all time. We also enjoyed National Treasure and its sequel. With that said, however, Knowing was a big disappointment.

The basic story is this: Fifty years ago, an elementary school class draws pictures of what they think the future will look like and then they bury them in a time capsule to be opened fifty years later. There’s one spooky girl who doesn’t draw a picture but instead writes out a page full of seemingly random numbers. Flash forward to the present day, when John Koestler’s son is in the class that gets to open the time capsule, and every student is given an envelope containing a picture drawn by the original class. Everyone except this kid, that is, who is the unlucky recipient of the numbers sheet. Oh, also, this little boy is generally misunderstood and unhappy because his mom recently died and his dad is an emotionally unavailable alcoholic wallowing in his own misery. Anyway, in the throes of a drunken revelation, Koestler figures out that these numbers aren’t random at all but actually predictions of disasters. Hey, look at that! According to these numbers, the next disaster will be… tomorrow!?!? Yep, turns out Koestler’s hunch was correct. So, like any normal alcoholic/widower/single dad/MIT professor/atheist, he sets out to solve the mystery. Oh, did I mention he’s an atheist? He is, and it just so happens that his father is a minister of some sort. Needless to say, they are estranged, but thankfully Koestler has a sister whose sole mission is to look concerned while hugging her brother and trying to get him to reunite with their father. In the meantime, these weird Matrix-looking wannabes keep stalking Koestler’s son and whispering to him (through his hearing aid?). Along the way, he tracks down the original spooky girl’s daughter and granddaughter, who reluctantly join him on his quest to solve the mystery. And, of course, they do solve the mystery. And it’s sooooo lame. I won’t spoil the ending for you, but I will say that I previously thought M. Night Shyamalan was the master of the stupid ending. No longer.

Nic Cage does a decent job as Koestler in this movie, even though it seems like all he does anymore is these follow-the-clues movies. Rose Byrne, who plays the spooky girl’s daughter, Diana, does one of the crappiest acting jobs I’ve seen in a while. I liked her okay in Troy, but come on. She’s just not able to pretend to be scared very well. Koestler’s son, Caleb, is played by a cute little boy who really needs to work on his scared face, too. The spooky girl’s granddaughter is adorable, especially when she’s cuddling with white bunnies.

All in all, the movie was scarier than I thought it would be. I got worried at times that Mini-Me might want to start sleeping in my bed again, but luckily she considers herself to be way too old for that kind of behavior. The language isn’t too bad and there’s absolutely no sex, so it’s rated PG-13 solely for the scary factor and some violence. I’d say it’s worth renting if you’re a fan of Nicholas Cage, but otherwise save your money.

Oh, and one last little mini-rant. Why does every new movie preview have to have a quick flash of two girls about to kiss? I’m very particular about what sort of sexual content Mini-Me is exposed to (pardon the pun) and I allowed her to see this PG-13 movie specifically because there wasn’t supposed to be any sex involved. And there wasn’t any in the actual movie. But two of the movies previewed had some pretty racy scenes, including brief flashes of two girls obviously getting ready to kiss. In the previews. What up wit dat?

you can’t fire me — I quit!!

Posted on 25. Mar, 2009 by Jill in current events, ranting and raving

Time for a little review on AIG. First, let’s recall that we as taxpayers have a $170 billion dollar investment in AIG, which amounts to an 80% ownership of the company. Of course, in real life, you and I don’t have any say in how AIG is run. We didn’t even get asked if we wanted to buy AIG (we didn’t). And, even if you offered your unsolicited opinion on buying AIG with taxpayer dollars, you were ignored. But I digress.

So AIG had long ago written contracts with some of its higher paid executives in which they were asked to work for an annual salary of $1 per year, with the promise of bonuses to be paid in March 2009. The stated purpose of this was to retain the services of those who would be most able to lead AIG out of its huge pit of quicksand. It’s actually a decent argument. After all, if you were a competent person at the top of AIG and you knew first-hand what a house of cards it really was, wouldn’t you want to leave when the cards started to tumble? And besides, who really wants to work for $1 per year for a company whose name has become synonymous with “pile of crap?”

Now, even though it’s currently the trendy thing to deny any knowledge of said contracts and to simultaneously express disgust and outrage at the payment of these contractually obligatory bonuses, somebody somewhere stuck that provision into the “stimulus” package. Exactly who did it and at whose behest is up for grabs at the moment, and it really doesn’t even matter that much. The point is this: The stimulus package that nobody had time to read, that emergency spending measure that was supposed to stimulate the economy and get it moving again to avoid the meltdown — remember it? Anybody who voted for it, and certainly the messiah who signed it into law, now has proverbial blood on his hands, whether they read the thing or not. Their votes and signatures are endorsements of whatever was in that bloated bill. But, again, I digress.

So the media picks up on these bonus payments by AIG to some of its top executives, which, as previously noted, totaled $165 million, or less than 0.1% of the amount of the taxpayer dollars that AIG has received. Obviously this doesn’t look good, and the public is outraged that their dollars are being used to pay giant sums of money to people who apparently aren’t very good at their jobs. Congresspeeps, sensing a ripe opportunity for their favorite activity, grandstanding, decide to levy an astounding 90% tax on that bonus money, which effectively amounts to a bill of attainder, which is, of course, clearly unconstitutional and illegal. And stupid, too.

Here is the relevant part of the Constitution. Article I, Section 9, Clause 3 says that “No bill of attainder, ex post facto law, nor any law impairing the obligation of contracts, shall ever be passed, and no conviction shall work corruption of blood or forfeiture of estate.”

Now, I’m not a lawyer (yet), but it seems to me to be pretty clear. There are a ton of lawyers in Congress, and how they can reconcile their 90% bonus tax with the Constitution is beyond me. AIG had negotiated these contracts — whether anybody else likes them or not — and they had to be honored. We can’t have the federal government coming in and tearing up contracts made between two consenting entities just because they become unpopular. If the government wanted to negate the bonus contracts, they should have let AIG go bankrupt. The fact that AIG needed a bailout at all proves that maybe, just maybe, there are some money management problems there, so no one should be surprised when AIG does some stupid things with taxpayer dollars. Nevertheless, under pressure from Congress, the White House, the media, and buses full of angry mobs, some of these AIG executives have agreed to give back at least a portion of their bonus money.

But not Jake DeSantis. Channeling Ayn Rand, Mr. DeSantis submitted his resignation letter not only to Edward Liddy, CEO of AIG (who is also working for $1 per year), but also to the New York Times for publication on today’s editorial page and for the enjoyment of all. The full two-page letter can be found here, and it’s really worth the read if you have time, but here are a few of my favorite excerpts (emphasis added):

**********

DEAR Mr. Liddy,

It is with deep regret that I submit my notice of resignation from A.I.G. Financial Products. I hope you take the time to read this entire letter…

…I was in no way involved in — or responsible for — the credit default swap transactions that have hamstrung A.I.G. Nor were more than a handful of the 400 current employees of A.I.G.-F.P. Most of those responsible have left the company and have conspicuously escaped the public outrage.

…I can no longer effectively perform my duties in this dysfunctional environment, nor am I being paid to do so. Like you, I was asked to work for an annual salary of $1, and I agreed out of a sense of duty to the company and to the public officials who have come to its aid. Having now been let down by both, I can no longer justify spending 10, 12, 14 hours a day away from my family for the benefit of those who have let me down.

…I am disappointed and frustrated over your lack of support for us. I and many others in the unit feel betrayed that you failed to stand up for us in the face of untrue and unfair accusations from certain members of Congress last Wednesday and from the press over our retention payments, and that you didn’t defend us against the baseless and reckless comments made by the attorneys general of New York and Connecticut.

My guess is that in October, when you learned of these retention contracts, you realized that the employees of the financial products unit needed some incentive to stay and that the contracts, being both ethical and useful, should be left to stand. That’s probably why A.I.G. management assured us on three occasions during that month that the company would “live up to its commitment” to honor the contract guarantees.

…At no time during the past six months that you have been leading A.I.G. did you ask us to revise, renegotiate or break these contracts — until several hours before your appearance last week before Congress.

…You’ve now asked the current employees of A.I.G.-F.P. to repay these earnings.

…As most of us have done nothing wrong, guilt is not a motivation to surrender our earnings. We have worked 12 long months under these contracts and now deserve to be paid as promised. None of us should be cheated of our payments any more than a plumber should be cheated after he has fixed the pipes but a careless electrician causes a fire that burns down the house.

Many of the employees have, in the past six months, turned down job offers from more stable employers, based on A.I.G.’s assurances that the contracts would be honored. They are now angry about having been misled by A.I.G.’s promises and are not inclined to return the money as a favor to you.

The only real motivation that anyone at A.I.G.-F.P. now has is fear. Mr. Cuomo has threa
tened to “name and shame,” and his counterpart in Connecticut, Richard Blumenthal, has made similar threats — even though attorneys general are supposed to stand for due process, to conduct trials in courts and not the press.

…I have decided to donate 100 percent of the effective after-tax proceeds of my retention payment directly to organizations that are helping people who are suffering from the global downturn. This is not a tax-deduction gimmick; I simply believe that I at least deserve to dictate how my earnings are spent, and do not want to see them disappear back into the obscurity of A.I.G.’s or the federal government’s budget. Our earnings have caused such a distraction for so many from the more pressing issues our country faces, and I would like to see my share of it benefit those truly in need.

On March 16 I received a payment from A.I.G. amounting to $742,006.40, after taxes. In light of the uncertainty over the ultimate taxation and legal status of this payment, the actual amount I donate may be less — in fact, it may end up being far less if the recent House bill raising the tax on the retention payments to 90 percent stands. Once all the money is donated, you will immediately receive a list of all recipients.

…I’ll continue over the short term to help make sure no balls are dropped, but after what’s happened this past week I can’t remain much longer — there is too much bad blood. I’m not sure how you will greet my resignation, but at least Attorney General Blumenthal should be relieved that I’ll leave under my own power and will not need to be “shoved out the door.”

Sincerely,

Jake DeSantis

**********

Brilliant.

my new hero

Posted on 21. Mar, 2009 by Jill in current events, ranting and raving

Meet my new favorite congressman, Thaddeus McCotter, representing the 11th district in Michigan. He had a particularly brilliant 2 minutes on the House floor the other day in response to the “outrage” on display over the AIG bonus money fiasco.

Love this guy.

Here is his YouTube page. Also, you can follow him on Twitter — I do!

special slip-up, messiah style

Posted on 20. Mar, 2009 by Jill in current events

Well, I just couldn’t resist. Everybody with a pulse probably already knows about this, but I couldn’t sleep at night if I didn’t provide my loyal readers with easy access to the messiah‘s history-making appearance on Leno.

Ha! Good one, messiah! He’s a funny guy, that leader of the free world. A regular guy, just like the rest of us. He even makes fun of disabled people!

anyone for tea?

Posted on 18. Mar, 2009 by Jill in current events

Check out this video compilation showing some news coverage of the growing Tea Party movement.

I’m not sure if the messiah can give enough fabulous speeches to quell the rising tide.

i am not a twit…

Posted on 18. Mar, 2009 by Jill in entertainment

…but I am playing around with Twitter. I’ve signed up, but it may take me a little time to get into the full swing of things. Anybody else using it yet? Discuss.