Sigh. My life is hard.

But!! I have some news. For the past year or more, I’ve tried to maintain at least some degree of anonymity here. I also had a personal blog that was, well, personal and not anonymous. It also has gone neglected for the past several months. And anyway, it’s just hard to decide which things I want to put on which blog without duplicating. You get the picture. And now that I’m FREE FOR THE SUMMER (woot!!!) I really want to get back into blogging again, but I want to simplify. This blog will stay basically the same, and I’m going to start a Tumblr account for my more personal stuff. I’ll link to it here once it gets up and running, and if you really feel like stalking me you can check it out.

So I’m redoing my “About Me” page and I’m giving up the mask. Check it out.

New blog posts are imminent! You’ve been warned.

You know who I’m talking about, right? That mavericky mom who can see Russia from her backyard?

Yeah, that one.

Okay, anyway. She “wrote” a “book.” I think they finally settled on the title Glowing Rouge or something like that.

Let’s review.

Remember, whilst apparently in the midst of a dyspeptic episode (I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt here, people), Senator John McCain picked her to be his running mate for the 2008 presidential election. Also, she used to be Governor of Alaska until she quit like such a quitter. Now, ostensibly she quit in order to pursue a public speaking gig and to write and promote this “book.” That she “wrote.”

Today we learn that Parasailin’ has posted her resumé on LinkedIn, which is, well, a place where one can post one’s resumé. Here’s the link.

Ha! Just kidding. That one’s fake. Turns out I’m not the only one who likes to poke fun at the Killa from Wasilla. Here’s the real link.

So is it just me, or is this weird? I don’t know, really. Maybe it’s normal. You tell me. Anyway, it’s a side issue.

You’ll recall that Parasailin’ was a beauty queen, non?

Ha! Just kidding again. That wasn’t really Parasailin’ or Sarah Palin but just a really good wannabe. But do you see now how I keep getting so confused?

It’s even more confusing because I came across an exclusive excerpt from the first chapter of Parasailin’s “book” today and that plus the whole beauty pageant thing and the Iraq, such as, U.S. Americans, and now I don’t know who’s who anymore. Also, notwithstanding the title Glowing Rouge, it appears to have absolutely nothing to do with makeup tips. Here’s an example:

Say it ain’t so Joe! My name is Sarah Palin. Recently several year I the State of Alaska had the pleasure, north the hugeness, am the zealous public servant! My husband and I have blessed with many attractive children. In 2008 I even has the pleasure is presidential candidate’s John the McCain running mate! I enjoy the hunting wolf and the moose. Is the wife and the mother also.

…

My father is feels very much proud. Joe the Plumber! Later I will go to the Hawaiian am the graduation from the high school the institute in Honolulu. I leave, in a semester later and will shift to the north Idaho institute Community college. Moose. I in 1983 year two semesters, a generality have studied major. In 1984, I won Miss Wasilla Pageant, then completed third in 1984 Alaska young lady!

Seriously, you guys, you just have to read the whole thing. So so so so so so funny.

Finally, I stumbled across this YouTube gem today and I just had to include it. I’m not sure if this is Sarah Palin or Parasailin’ or just that wannabe chick. I report, you decide.

A few, however, are not.

I’ve seen people playing all sorts of games. Sometimes people check their email or other news websites. By far the most annoying thing is the people who type notes back and forth to the person seated next to them in big, bold font so that everybody behind them can read speculation on whether Professor Contracts ever gets to go on a date, or how ugly someone else’s boyfriend is, or whether someone is having a hard time staying awake, etc.

Aren’t we supposed to be adults here?

This isn’t to say that an occasional brain deviation from the lecture isn’t normal. My mind wanders, too. But really? You want to write notes back and forth to each other on your computer screen when at least half the class is sitting behind you reading every word? Because it’s literally impossible not to read it. Once you know they’re typing messages, you can’t make yourself not look. You have to. It’s a reflex or an impulse or something completely involuntary. And then you spend the rest of the class time being irritated on at least five different levels because of this nonsense.

/end rant

Plus, you just never know who’s looking over your shoulder. That’s what these legislators in Connecticut found out after the Associated Press published this photo of them playing solitaire during a budget debate.

Oops.

see more Fail Blog

• You’d better hope you don’t find a picture of yourself here. If you do, better keep it to yourself.
• Now this is a cute midget.
• Let’s say you have a close relationship with a Trekkie. Now let’s say that said Trekkie expires. You’re responsible for the funeral arrangements. Should you have a burial or a cremation? Either way, you can send your Trekkie to the final frontier in style.
• A public service announcement: the horn. So that’s what it’s for? Hmm. Never use mine. *cough cough*
• And finally, you should take 8 minutes to watch “Red Rabbit,” an animated short by Egmont Mayer. Ninja Kid and I loved it! Everybody’s got a secret, right?

A man lives alone in a small apartment. The little contact he had with other people has dropped to zero since the rabbit appeared. Every attempt to get the rabbit out of his apartment has failed and since he is not sure whether or not pets are allowed in the building, he does not let anybody enter his apartment.

So I’m just going to do a few at a time so as not to overwhelm.

• So, like, what was your favorite ride of all?
  OMG it was totally 1001 Nachts. I LOVED THAT RIDE!
  You loved it, huh? Well, why don’t you marry it then??
  Hey!! Awesome idea!!
• Speaking of amusement parks, check out Environmentaland, which recently opened in Hollywood. Nobody Rides for Free.
• This dude got an unpleasant reminder that it’s not nice to cheat on your wife — with three other women. The woman in the picture needs to get acquainted with a flat iron. All three  women will surely be getting acquainted with the inside of a prison cell. Let’s hope none of their cellies have access to Krazy Glue.
• Apparently, real men wear pink. If by *real men* you mean Brad Pitt and David Beckham. And yes. Yes, I do.
• Happy birthday today to Joseph Carey Merrick, better known as the Elephant Man. That movie made me cry when I was a little girl, and my horribly insensitive father and brother made fun of me endlessly for it. Yes, you two, I do still hold a grudge.
• You probably know that Ninja Kid wants to be a chef. Lately I’ve been extolling the virtues (and positive cash flow!!) of orthodontics. Turns out I’m barking up the wrong tree. Of the 15 most lucrative college majors, 12 of them are engineering degrees. Time to dig out the math flash cards. Drill, baby, drill!
• Finally, stop working overtime already! Wait, what was your name again? Where am I?

Hope you guys like this feature. If you do, tell all your friends! If you don’t, keep it to yourself.

According to NBC New York, a young lady named Trina Thompson has filed a civil suit against her alma mater, Monroe College. She wants a refund on her tuition money to the tune of $70,000. Why? Well isn’t it obvious? She hasn’t gotten a job yet, so she feels like she deserves her money back.

Um. Where should I start? I’m not a lawyer yet and not actually even a law student quite yet, but nevertheless I will pick this apart using my common sense, which is very keen and not even all that common.

1.  Just because your college may have a Career Services department that helps its students with job searches is no guarantee that you will be employed, with or without their help, within a certain period of time after graduating from said college.

2.  Speaking of certain periods of time, Ms. Thompson just graduated in April; this is just August. She doesn’t have a job yet? Boo freakin’ hoo. The article says that Ms. Thompson was an info-tech major at Monroe College. Apparently this had nothing to do with anything like watching the news or reading the paper or common sense, for that matter. It’s called a recession. We haz one. Google it.

3.  Just for kicks, let’s say you win your $70,000 tuition back from Monroe College. If you do get a job at any point in the future, aren’t you then obligated to repay the money? It seems only fair. If the main factor in determining whether your $70,000 was well spent on your education is whether or not you are suitably employed, then fine. You take the $70,000 back until you get a job, and then you pay it back. Of course, this is ridiculous.

4.  And anywayz, who’s going to want to hire you now that you’ve exposed yourself as a litigious, whiny, unrealistic, and generally annoying doofus?  You have student debt? Join the club. You’re having trouble making ends meet? Gee, nobody else has that problem EVER. Ms. Thompson’s mother is quoted in the article as saying, “This is not the way we want to live our life… This is not what we planned.” Well to that I say: Get in line, and good luck finding the back of it. I think it curves around the globe a few times.

**********

On a side note, the other night Ninja Kid and I went out to dinner with my mom (code name: Meemosa) and her husband (Mr. Meemosa?). In the span of about ten minutes I told a blatantly obvious lie and also did a bang-up job of pretending to like an entire family whom I really detest despise loathe don’t enjoy. Meemosa’s husband told me he thought I’d make a great lawyer. Is that a compliment?

From the Secular Right blog, a post on Right Wing Identity Politics

Dahlia Lithwick over at Slate explains how Sarah Palin was Lost in Translation

At Reason magazine’s online site, Cathy Young tells us why Palin is Not the Answer

And finally, one of my favorite columnists of all, Peggy Noonan, bids A Farewell to Harms in her Wall Street Journal column.

Read and enjoy!

If the words of a young girl mourning the death of her father don’t bring tears to your eyes, maybe it’s time to recalibrate your snark-o-meter.

In other “deaths” this week, almost-former AK Governor Sarah Palin is continuing her nonsensical ramblings all over the media. In an interview this morning, after explaining that quitting the governorship doesn’t make her a quitter but a fighter, she stoically accepts whatever the future may hold (one can only hope) for her political career. Wait for it — it’s at the end of the clip.

Well. This little bombshell set off quite a bit of speculation about the real reason(s) for her resignation. The announcement that she wasn’t going to run for reelection wasn’t much of a surprise to anybody, as she was expected to run for the Republican nomination for President in 2012. But resigning with 18 months to go in her first and only term as Governor? Perhaps she or someone in her immediate family is experiencing some health problems that require her full attention? Perhaps there’s a major scandal brewing just under the surface and her resignation is a preemptive strike? Perhaps she’s wanting to relocate her family to the mainland and focus on networking and fundraising in preparation for her nomination bid?

Whatever. It’s her stated reason for resigning that has me so demoralized. Guess whose fault it is, she claims, that she can’t govern any more? Her opponents. Oh, and also the media.

Without a doubt, Sarah Palin was treated unfairly by the media when she was the Republican Vice Presidential candidate and she continues to be skewered, though she brings some criticism upon herself by maintaining this anti-intellectual persona she’s got going, whether it’s genuine or not (I suspect it’s genuine). And the attacks on her kids, especially that hideous distortion of Baby Trig that made the rounds (which I won’t even link to here – it’s that disgusting), are way, way out of bounds. This I will stipulate without reservation.

You know what my parents used to tell me about these kinds of situations? Life isn’t a bowl of cherries. Life isn’t fair.

When women enter the national political arena, they’re going to be held to a different standard. This is certainly not fair or right, but it’s the reality. Just ask Hillary Clinton about how fairly she was treated during the last election. The way the media treated Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton was different, but it was unfair in each case. So much focus on outfits, makeup, cankles, legs, skirt length, neckline plunges, haircuts and hairstyles, etc. It’s ridiculous. It’s also a known, predictable entity.

So for Sarah Palin to stand up there and say basically that she’s getting out of the kitchen because she can’t take the heat makes me sick to my stomach. She had no business on the national stage in the first place. She wasn’t ready for the big game. Today she has fueled the fears of some that a woman isn’t strong enough to be President, that she can’t make the tough decisions, that she can’t govern effectively with a family, that she is weak. Today Sarah Palin has single-handedly repaired way too many of those 18 million cracks that Hillary Clinton put in the glass ceiling. I say goodbye, and good riddance.

Last Friday, presidential elections were held in Iran, and everybody’s favorite Holocaust denier, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, was reelected with over 60% of the vote. In Iran and in the United States, apparently quite a few people were expecting an upset by reformist Mir Houssein Mousavi. In Iran, hundreds of thousands — even millions — of people have been demonstrating in the streets (just check YouTube for tons of videos — here’s one), and the government has really cracked down on them with riot police armed with guns, shooting live bullets and even killing some protesters. The supporters of Mousavi claim that the election was rigged, that their votes weren’t counted fairly, etc.

So let’s just get this on the record: I am neither a fan nor a defender of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. I think it’s sad and horrible that not all people have the right to assemble and protest their government without the fear of being shot dead in the street. I like freedom and I don’t like government oppression.

I have to make that disclaimer because what I have to say next may make this my most unpopular post ever.

Americans, and in particular tweeple in the twitterverse, have gone absolutely stark raving mad over this Iranian election mess. I’ve watched it get worse and worse to the point where I just can’t tolerate the nonsense any longer. If you’ve gotten swept up in it, my apologies in advance because you’re likely to be offended. This is just simply nuts.

It all started when some Iranian protesters started posting real-time pictures and videos on Twitter. People were retweeting and it was actually pretty riveting. Contributing to the buildup was the fact that no major media outlets were covering this story over the weekend. Then, insanity broke out. Now we have all kinds of tweeters who’ve changed their avatars to have a green tint in solidarity with the protesters. In addition, the most die-hard sympathizers have changed their self-described location to Tehran. Why? Well, of course, it’s to fool the Iranian government, who reportedly is scouring Twitter for tweets using the hashtag #iranelection. That is, until last night, when the rumor started going around that the Iranian government was blocking this one particular hashtag (which I doubt is even possible), so now everybody should start using #iran9 or something. Like they couldn’t figure that one out.

Here is a sample of some of the things people are saying in the twitterverse:

Was young in ’79 and not going to watch history repeat itself. #iranelection They won’t get away with it this time.

Change your Twitter settings to show GMT +03:30 Tehran as your timezone + change city to Tehran to confuse the Iranian censors.

btw, if any of the Iranian government is reading this post…screw you and your “little man” inferiority complex #iranelection #gr88 #tehran

I mean, is this crazy? I’m not putting the names of these tweeple here because I’m not out to humiliate anybody in particular; rather, these posts are illustrative of some of the hysteria that’s taken over on Twitter. Additionally, not all those who are demonstrating support for Iranians are acting this crazily. It is possible to show concern for your fellow human beings without being a maniac.

And Twitter is certainly not the only place you can find this crazy talk. Conservatives all over have been frantic for President Obama to make some sort of statement in solidarity with the protesters. The Weekly Standard called for the President to give a speech in which…

He does not need to call openly for an uprising, but he should be taking the accounts of reporters and our intelligence operatives in Iran and broadcasting them to the world. He should be amplifying the voices of the Iranians who have, once again, been deprived of any say in how they will be governed, and using them to pressure the Iranian regime at a time when it is plainly very fragile.

Hyperbole, much?

So, let’s have a few facts, shall we? If you’re one of the people standing with your “brothers and sisters” in Iran who are protesting for “democracy,” just how much do you know about Mir Hossein Mousavi, the reformist candidate who allegedly had the election stolen from him? Perhaps you think that because the descriptive term “reformist” has been applied to him, maybe he’s at least ambivalent toward Israel rather than hostile? Or maybe he’s an advocate of complying with UN nuclear regulators to ensure that nuclear power would only be used for a peaceful purpose rather than to develop nuclear weapons? Or maybe he openly opposes terrorism as a tactic for effecting political change?

You’d be wrong on all counts.

Mir Houssein Mousavi has indeed said that he’d be open to negotiations with the United States, but only if the United States changes its policies toward Iran. Additionally, Mousavi has supported his country’s right to pursue nuclear technology. And, while Mousavi hasn’t come right out and said that the Holocaust was a big hoax like Ahmadinejad has, his statement of record — “Some people were killed there, some Jews were killed there, we condemn the killing of a single innocent person” — isn’t exactly unequivocal. Furthermore, it has been reported that Mousavi was one of the founding members of Hezbollah, a Lebanese-based political and paramilitary group that is regarded as a terrorist organization by the United States. Conservatives in the United States almost universally regard the defense of Israel as one of the most important foreign policy duties of this country. Why, then, would they be cheering for Mousavi?

Furthermore, there is evidence that the election is reflective of the Iranian people’s wishes after all. Polls done three weeks before the election showed Ahmadinejad with a lead over Mousavi. By most reports, he’s a very skilled politician. Additionally, he won with approximately the same percentage of votes in the 2005 presidential election. People in this country and in Iran, apparently, have made the assumption that because they didn’t get their preferred outcome, there must have been election fraud. Every election has winners and losers, whether or not there is fraud. Update: Two more articles asserting that Ahmadinejad may have actually won here and here, courtesy of @LegalCookie.

Which leads me to the part where I have to defend President Obama. Wisely, he has stayed mostly above the fray with regard to the Iranian election and the turmoil that has ensued. Let’s not forget that Iran is a sovereign country, and what they do with their elections is really not anybody else’s business. People in the United States are offended when international election monitors come here to make sure we’re having free and fair elections. We don’t like it when the governments of other countries voice their opinions about whom they’d like to see as the next President of the United States. It is this sort of foreign policy meddling by the United States in the past that has led to such an intense dislike of our country in other parts of the world.

Regardless of how the election turns out in Iran, President Obama will have no alternative but to deal with that person, so wouldn’t it be imprudent for him to take sides when everything is still up in the air? If he gave the speech that so many conservatives are calling for, in which he expressed solidarity with the protesters and by extension declared his opposition to Ahmadinejad, how could he ever expect to make any progress with an Ahmadinejad government? The answer, of course, is that he couldn’t. President Obama promised to use more “soft power” (or “smart power,” as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has called it). Smart, in this case, is President Obama’s decision to let Iran determine who is going to be its leader and then proceeding to deal with said leader as the opportunity presents itself.