fear and emotional chaos in anticipation of law school
Two weeks from tomorrow, I’ll be attending my first day of law school orientation. Egads! I’ve spent this entire year wishing law school would hurry up and get here, and now that it’s almost here, a low-grade, smoldering panic is starting to creep in. And while I know in my head that everything’s going to be just fine in the long run, I have noticed some strange things happening to me lately. At first I thought these incidents were unrelated, but I’ve since come to realize that they are, collectively, manifestations of a well-known but previously ill-defined affliction known henceforth as Fear and Emotional Chaos in Anticipation of Law School, or F.E.C.A.L.S. for short.
In case you’re wondering if you, too, are suffering from this debilitating syndrome, I have devised a self-test. If you have experienced five or more of the following signs and symptoms, you may indeed be experiencing F.E.C.A.L.S.
- You’ve devised a smart-ass answer for the next time someone asks you if you’re ready for law school to start.
- You realize that you’ve got a stockpile of at least 50 highlighters — 5 colors, 10 of each.
- You’re wondering whether you ought to pursue a career in waiting tables, fast food customer service, or retail sales.
- You spend hours each day scouring the intertubez in search of recommendations for supplements, study aids, and note-taking software.
- You’ve started stockpiling cans of soup and drinking water.
- You’ve politely (or maybe not so politely) explained to your family and friends that you won’t be accepting any invitations to any events until after you get your barzam results in 3-1/2 years.
- You have recently awakened in a cold sweat, shouting, “Pass!”, from a dream in which you’ve been called on in class and you stand up to answer, realizing only then that you’re pantsless/completely naked/braless/wearing two different shoes.
- You have also started stockpiling coffee/Mountain Dew/Red Bull.
- You’ve convinced yourself that it’s normal to spend $1000 on one semester’s worth of books.
- You have an irrational fear of being labeled as “that guy.”
- You’re seriously contemplating doing some day drinking. Daily.
Again, if you recognize these symptoms, you are not alone. Thousands of law students suffer from F.E.C.A.L.S. in the weeks before their 1L year starts, and most come through without any lasting sequelae. Try to relax and enjoy your last little taste of freedom. But, by all means, if you are experiencing symptoms not listed here that you suspect are related to an exacerbation of F.E.C.A.L.S., please post them below.
Law school may give you many things *and* I think you will give law school an new perspective on humor! Keep that!
Question: Shall I anticipate getting 2am calls from you about insomnia, your whacky professors, etc all this next year? Just need to plan, brace myself and go to bed earlier! Ha!
Hugs from Another Law School Mom!
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Crack me up, Ninja
It dissipates quickly, once the novelty wears off. I promise!
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Don’t worry – Muffin is right here to counsel you through it. With full anticipation that you will someday support me when you are a successful attorney.
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Love this post. Strikes up nostalgia. Best of luck. I am sure your year will get off to a wonderful start.
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Ha! I still suffer from that and I’m beginning my 2L year.
p.s. daytime drinking is totally acceptable. In fact, your law school will probably encourage it.
Also… it’s not nearly as scary as they want you to believe. Everyone says/does stupid things in class. No one will remember it was you.
Good luck!
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