I get breaking news alerts on my shiny new iPhone, and every time it tinkles at me Ninja Kid wants to know what’s going on. At first I thought this was cute and an indicator of her exceedingly superior intelligence, which of course she inherited from me. And it probably is. Also, she really likes to hear herself — and pretty much only herself — talk. I know this because as soon as I start to explain the complex geopolitical developments taking place, for example, in Iran, her eyes glaze over and she stares into space.

So this morning my phone was deluged with breaking news about the military coup in Honduras today. Right on cue, Ninja Kid asked me if it was breaking news. I told her there had been a military coup in Honduras, and then I proceeded to explain what that means, etc., ad nauseum, you get the picture. Of course, this whole time she had the look of someone who’s recently visited their local methadone clinic. Not that I’d know what that looks like.

All day long my phone is bursting with the minutiae of the coup and nothing else is mentioned by Ninja Kid until about two hours ago, when I got another alert and the following conversation ensued:

NK: Is that breaking news?
Me: Yeah.
NK: What is it?
Me: Oh, you know. Still more stuff about the military coup in Honduras.
NK: Oh. [thoughtful pause] What’s a military coup?
Me: Don’t you remember the conversation we had about that this morning? I explained the whole thing to you.
NK: [cowering] No…
Me: Okay, well, it’s like when the military decides to overthrow the government in power and install a new ruler. It’d be like if our Army decided they didn’t like President Obama anymore and they wanted someone else to be President before the next election, so they just roll into Washington DC with tanks or whatever and kick him out of the White House.

At this point I look over at Ninja Kid, expecting to see the usual blank stare. Instead, a slow grin starts to creep over her face and I can almost literally see the wheels turning in her little Ninja Brain.

“I see the look on your face. A military coup is NOT a good thing. Repeat: NOT a good thing.”

I’m afraid I may have created a monster.

Oh, and by the way, just kidding about the whole “cowering” thing.