There are a few unfortunate hours each day during which there is no Law & Order rerun to watch, and sometimes I’ll switch to Food Network in order to keep from having to turn off my new fabulous TV while waiting for the next Law & Order rerun. I’ve discovered a directly proportional relationship between the amount of time I spend watching Food Network and my hunger level. Today I had a major battle of the wills with myself (I won) when I passed by Chicken Express. What I wouldn’t give for a delicious, golden, deep-fried, sinful chicken thigh, with its crispy, tasty, calorie-laden skin and its juicy meat! Somehow I was able to keep myself from “popping” in there to grab one… or ten. Which leads me to the focus of today’s rant.

What is the first thing you think of when you hear the word “pop?” A loud noise? A sudden movement or burst of activity? Maybe popcorn or a soft drink? All normal associations. How about an oven? A refrigerator? Maybe a piece of meat? Didn’t think so. Apparently it’s very fashionable to use the verb “to pop” instead of “to place” or “to set” or “to put.” For example, “I’m going to pop this into the oven,” or, “Just pop this in the fridge and let it marinate for three hours,” or, “This most recent bastardization of the English language might make my eyeballs pop.” Oh, wait a second. That last one was me.

This popping phenomenon is really getting to me. There are already a number of words to describe the act of a dish entering an oven or other large appliance. Why the need to add yet another meaning to a word which already has several meanings? There’s no answer to this, of course. To be fair, only a select few of the Food Network show hosts are committing this offense, but it was bad enough a couple of days ago that it inspired this manifesto. As for me, I’m going to pop on over to another channel, or maybe I’ll pop onto the Internet for some browsing as a way to pass the time between Law & Order reruns.